Membership required … bank on it!




I could be a bit out to pasture here, so maybe a plugged-in reader will catch me up. Once upon a time, as I recall, a person could cash a check issued to them from any branch of the bank the check was drawn on. You bank with Chase … you write me a check … I waltz to a Chase branch and cash it. I have done it a dozen times, so I doubt my memory is that faulty.

Things have changed drastically in Bush / Cheney’s America. Forget the war in Iraq, the aiding and abetting of Al Qaida’s recruitment in the ever fertile well of our enemies, the enabling of Big Oil to tighten it’s grasp on our vehicular throats, the efforts to loot our Social Security for the benefit of emerging ‘investment opportunity’ firms, the complete breakdown of our disaster relief abilities, the under-funding of our most obvious national security targets in favor of petting zoos in mid-America, … etc … etc … Today I want to focus on the practice of banking in America.

I was recently issued a check drawn from an account at HSBC (the Hong Kong Singapore Banking Corporation) and was told by the reps at said bank that I could not cash it unless I had an account there. My only recourse was to deposit the check in my account at my bank and wait three days until it clears. I asked a rep at my bank if this policy was in force there and she answered in the affirmative.

This practice does not sit well with me, I assure you. The currency in question is rightfully mine and I should have access to it immediately. In essence, under the current banking regulations, these corporate giants have the right to hold my money hostage for three days while they are drawing interest on it. Sound familiar? Get used to it. The New America is here.

What if … heaven forbid … I did not have a bank account? I would not be able to collect my cash without doing back-flips and somersaults, sort of like a performing monkey holding his tin cup out for donations. Okay, let’s put all this in perspective. I cannot collect the money due me unless I belong to a club … er, bank … any bank if I am willing to wait a few days. I can get my money immediately if I belong to the specific club … er, bank … the check is drawn on. Membership in a club is required … jacket and tie optional, so far. In the not-too-distant future, a bouncer (Big Brother?) will be standing at the door, demanding to see your I.D., insistent on a tip pursuant to entrance, along with the stipulation that you dance only to his music. Pray he doesn’t require you to throw in a blow job!